Day 3 - Saturday, August 29

MOSTLY over the jet lag but mid-afternoon was pretty wonky. A little weepy as well but a nap helped. Hannah helped me purchase my annual transit pass and cell phone, then we did a little shoe shopping for her, and walked the dog who is still exhausted. 
I have moments of being so overwhelmed by the language that I wonder what is the point of my being here. The intensive language classes here are expensive but without one I can't hope to achieve any sort of fluency in time to make use of it. Will I enjoy being here with only basic skills? Will this turn out to be a waste because I couldn't understand enough? Will one year satisfy me?

In any event, I could not do this year abroad in France or England, places where I speak the language (or can at least get by) as they are much too expensive. No, Berlin itself is why this entire adventure is possible. It's relatively cheap and, more important, it is where Hannah is. So I must learn as much German as I can. 

The internet has been down almost all day so I can't satisfy myself about the American and international women's federations, language classes, apartments for rent, or email. Another frustration for one accustomed to instant information gratification. Since I don't yet have my own place and routine, these are at least constructive things to do while I bide my time.

Maggie and I went out for a long walk in the evening and got caught in a cloudburst. The pads on her feet used to be pink. They now look like black patent leather. We walked for over an hour, mostly because it took her that long to pee, but also because I got turned around and we got a few bonus blocks. As gritty as Friedrichshain is, the streets are lively - full of cafes and shops, people with babies and dogs, and splattered with the ubiquitous bicycles and graffiti. There are hundreds of bicycles everywhere, ridden on the sidewalks for the most part, frequently approaching from behind without warning, spooking poor Maggie who is so NOT a city dog. Not yet, at any rate.

In Friedrichshain most of the small green spaces are weedy and seedy, untended, litter-strewn with bottles, broken glass, bottle caps, an occasional dirty diaper, dog poop, and bounded by graffiti-marred walls. At night I hear kids on the street popping the tops off their beers, just letting them flip onto the sidewalks. No one ever cleans them up; they just become part of the pavement. Graffiti is everywhere and I find it disturbing. It is visually unappealing - downright ugly, most of it - and speaks to me of underlying discontent. 

Hannah disagrees with me about the graffiti. She thinks it's just part of the rawness of Berlin, a free form of expression, and does not find it threatening. Still, I believe it is a symptom of some unhappiness. Do happy people scribble on other people's property? Or on public property? What happened to pride of place? Is our physical habitat a reflection of our collective mental state? Is it a question of empowerment? How is a more constructive form of power nurtured? And how could Berlin - particularly East Berlin - NOT be in a gritty, transitional state? The wall has  only been down for 20 years; not even a whole generation yet.

What a jumble goes on in my head.

While I was walking Maggie I was thinking about tethers - the leash that keeps her by my side and safe in a foreign place, and the metaphoric leash that attaches me to Hannah who provides the same safety for me right now. Tethers to everything that makes up our personal stories.

Hannah had a pre-party for a few friends after first going with them to a new "American" hamburger place around the corner. Hannah brought me a hamburger and onion rings - es schmecht gut!