Sunday, October 18, 2009

Church Bells

It is Sunday morning, my eighth weekend here. There are several churches nearby and their bells are ringing, as they do several times a day, every day. I am no longer a churchgoer but I love the sound of these bells; not musical - too much iron for that, but confident and comforting somehow, and infinitely more satisfying than the electric carillon that spews Protestant hymns from a certain church at home, which I find maudlin and intrusive. The bells here give me the same sensation I get when the furnace kicks on - it feels like someone is home and taking care of things. They also remind me of my favorite Christmas record ever, one that must be almost as old as I am, an album my mother had, called "Christmas in Europe," and which was one of the few old family LPs we saved after she died. It begins and ends with a peal of bells, ostensibly from a picturesque European church akin to these. Pavlov would love my elevated heart rate and daily anticipation of opening presents.

It is unlikely that I will attend church again in response to the (Heaven help me) appealing beckoning of the bells. In addition to my antipathy towards religion in general (a diatribe just waiting to happen) I admit to a certain cultural prejudice against German churchgoing in particular, instilled in me no doubt by my early and frequent exposure to this line from "The Mikado", whose eponymous personage makes a fanciful use of the institution as a sublime punishment:

All prosy dull society sinners who chatter and bleat and bore
Are sent to hear sermons by mystical Germans who preach from ten till four.


What I set out to write about, however, is not church at all, but the sense of community for which I continually search and am sometimes successful in finding. The church bells remind me of my yearning to belong. If I were a Christian, finding a church community here would be the first thing I would do. There's one almost literally in my back yard, so it wouldn't be hard. But Christian I am not, so I resist the bells and their invitation, and will seek community elsewhere.

I have had some great experiences feeling part of a community. I have encountered it in workplaces, neighborhoods, volunteer organizations, boards and committees, and in groups as varied as concert band and my Goethe Institute German class. The German class is now coming to a close - just two days left! - and with it my sense of daily connection with a place and the only group of people I have come to know so far in Berlin.

I will find other groups to ramble around in. Perhaps a painting class or a less intensive language course, a women's group or even a music ensemble. I could try dog obedience, or a book group. An exercise class or a lecture series. But none of these will have bells to tell me where to go. Churches at least let you know they are there.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, churches are that way if they're doing their job - letting you know they are there until you decide to come in or until you need them for something like a wedding, a christening, or a burial. Well, you didn't think I could just let this post lay around unread, did you? Anyway, I hope the church beckons you in the right way again some day and you put your baptized little head back in a Christian cap:) Enough soft sermon. M'Lisse, Laurie, and maybe Katherine, although I haven't heard for sure about her attendance will be off on a little road trip to Moses Lake this Thursday - why ML? - I dunno. M swears they have an art center there so we're going off to visit it whether it's there or not - it's a road trip, it's what one does I suppose:) Wish you were along although, even better, I wish we were all there for a road trip with you and Maggie! You are an eloquent writer and your posts are very enjoyable to me. Thanks! xoxox

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